Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
