we have pet lesbian snakes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
