i was born a porn star she said
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
