Who wears a wallet chain?!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
