She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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