This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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