I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
