i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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