Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
