we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
