I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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