party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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