Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
