he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
