Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
