Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
