Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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