You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
