So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
