everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
