he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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