i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
