You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't deserve a penis
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
