I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
