thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
