i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The police scanner is talking about you again....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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