Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
