I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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