New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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