I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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