I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
