She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm really busy with my period
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