they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
