I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
