I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
