Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
