we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
