belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
