did you get engaged???
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
