I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
