Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
