bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
