"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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