Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
