I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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