yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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