How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
