I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
