you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
