There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
