i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
