she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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