Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
