You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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